aizawa does her the courtesy of just nodding when she enters, though he's taking in every detail he can as she walks over to deposit the tray on his nightstand. how considerate of her, especially when she looks like she hasn't been sleeping well. he suspected she didn't know about the arrivals, but her shock more or less confirms it.
maybe it had been cruel not to tell her of the possibility after all.
the unshed tears and tremble in her voice as she sits down beside his bed is evidence enough that she's holding herself back, probably for his sake, so he does her the courtesy of letting her fuss with the cloth and bowl before reaching out and reading a hand atop her head. so she can hide behind her hair, if she wants to.]
[She shudders at his touch, hesitating a moment before reaching up to take his hand gently, holding it between both of her own. She bows over it, her voice trembling with every breath.]
Y-you didn't... you didn't do anything wrong... I-I'm sorry for- for forcing you to make that promise... I should have just listened to you...!
Don't be ridiculous, [aizawa huffs sternly, though he allows his hand to rest between her own without fighting it. he was hoping she wouldn't go that way with it, but he should've expected it. uraraka has never blamed someone else for something she could take responsibility for.] Even as a full-fledged hero, you'll never have that much influence over another person's decisions. Unless you spontaneously developed a brainwashing quirk that I'm unaware of.
[she knows he means it- knows he believes it, certainly- but she can't help blaming herself. there's so much she could have done differently. responsibly.
still so much to learn.]
You still... only did it for my sake. So... I'm sorry, b-but... thank you, too.
Humor me. [aizawa folds his hands on his lap, looking her square in the face even as the shadows flit about the corners of his eyes.] How was it only for your sake?
Edited (i promise last edit) 2017-10-13 04:36 (UTC)
I would have forced you if necessary. [Up to and including knocking her out and placing her on that transport.]
...It wasn't only for your sake. I hadn't been lying when I told you that the survivors would need you more than myself. And it's my responsibility, as your teacher, to ensure your safety. Even if I suspected I would be revived like this, the risk wasn't acceptable for you. [he sighs in frustration, clenching his hands around the blankets.]
I'm not saying this out of a sense of heroism, or to imply that I was willing to sacrifice myself for your sake. I could've easily gone on that shuttle with you; I stayed behind because it's my duty. Not yours. Not yet.
[She listens quietly, resistant at first, but not saying anything. There's plenty she could argue with that. No matter what Aizawa says, in her mind her duties are different here versus their world. This isn't school, this isn't home. She has certain responsibilities now, whether they like it or not- to the people they meet, to the crew, to him and all those she cares about.
But... she's tired. She knows he's mostly right, and that he knows better, and that he's older and wiser than she'll ever be. She's just so tired of this misery.
Her voice is very quiet as she responds, her head bowed again.]
Can we not fight? I don't want to fight. I'm sorry. I'll take it back if you want me to.
['can we not fight' isn't something a student really says to their teacher, and that's more telling than anything else. not just that she isn't taking his words at face value anymore, but that the degree of familiarity in fighting as opposed to lecturing isn't what he'd anticipated.
...maybe he should've. maybe with all that face-cradling and first-name-calling he'd done, he'd crossed some kind of line from which it would be difficult to return. he'd made the first step and right now, it feels like it was a mistake.]
...don't take it back. Not if you meant it. [but fine. they don't have to 'fight.']
[That's probably as close to a "yes" as she can expect, so she nods quietly, fingers twisting together in her lap. Okay. Okay, re-focus. He's back, he's alive, so now...]
You've already brought me water. [honestly he kind of just wants to sleep, but he wants to make sure uraraka is properly reassured before he lies back down.] ...I should eat something, though. Rice porridge, if you don't mind. [giving her a task might help. he can compose himself while she's gone.]
[honestly she's even more relieved to have a job. some responsibility will do her wonders, and helping him will help her- well, maybe not atone, if he's going to fuss about her feeling guilty. but it would sure make her feel better about everything.]
Rice porridge, I can do that! Just rest and have a drink until I bring it back, okay? And this water here is for your fever- you should put it on your forehead, it'll help you cool down.
[You know what she's just gonna go ahead and soak it for him. PREPARE TO BE NURSED]
Yes, yes, I know, [is her only response as she rests the cloth against his forehead, using their close proximity to touch the pad of her thumb against his skin, activating her Quirk. Once he's weightless she tips him so his back is against the bed. Come on, legs down!
At least, that's the intent. He could always counter it with his own Quirk, but she's kinda hoping he's too tired for that.]
[there's even a bit of pep added to her tone the more she responds. once he's lying back down she re-soaks the cloth and lays it fresh on his forehead, because wow, sensei, you're heating that shit up real quick.]
Okay, don't move- just try to rest while I get the cooking done. If you feel overheated, change the cloth and have a drink of water. I'll be right back!
[she's off before he can even think about protesting. sucks to be Aizawa, he just got himself a full-time nurse. gonna steal a sleeping bag for his door and everything.]
she's not supposed to be worrying about him, or looking after him or anything like that. even if it's just something he's allowing so she'll feel better, more useful, that's still not...
aizawa sighs, pulling the warming cloth off his forehead and dipping it in the bowl again to wring it out. back when he'd first arrived he'd told uraraka that despite the circumstances, nothing between them had changed, but that simply isn't true. it was a naive assumption to make, because back then he couldn't have comprehended being here so long, and getting so attached. not just to ochako, but to others in the fleet as well.
this isn't the same environment as a school. of course their relationship would reflect those differences.
when uraraka returns, she'll find him a little more compliant, though a lot less talkative as a result.]
[ochako fusses and frets her way through cooking the meal, burning it at least once trying to make it perfect. she's sure he won't care, but she does, and she's determined to make up for what happened even if he doesn't blame her. eventually she returns to the room carting a steaming bowl with her, tentatively poking her head in.]
[he'd been dozing, actually, though he wakes with a sharp inhale as she pokes her head back in, glancing over at her blearily before rubbing his eyes and taking the definitely-warm towel off of his forehead.]
Don't worry about it. I'm going to be sleeping quite a bit for a while.
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aizawa does her the courtesy of just nodding when she enters, though he's taking in every detail he can as she walks over to deposit the tray on his nightstand. how considerate of her, especially when she looks like she hasn't been sleeping well. he suspected she didn't know about the arrivals, but her shock more or less confirms it.
maybe it had been cruel not to tell her of the possibility after all.
the unshed tears and tremble in her voice as she sits down beside his bed is evidence enough that she's holding herself back, probably for his sake, so he does her the courtesy of letting her fuss with the cloth and bowl before reaching out and reading a hand atop her head. so she can hide behind her hair, if she wants to.]
I'm sorry I'm late.
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Y-you didn't... you didn't do anything wrong... I-I'm sorry for- for forcing you to make that promise... I should have just listened to you...!
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still so much to learn.]
You still... only did it for my sake. So... I'm sorry, b-but... thank you, too.
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You know what I mean...
[They would have just left when he told them to if she hadn't kept arguing.]
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I wouldn't go until you promised. How is it not?
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...It wasn't only for your sake. I hadn't been lying when I told you that the survivors would need you more than myself. And it's my responsibility, as your teacher, to ensure your safety. Even if I suspected I would be revived like this, the risk wasn't acceptable for you. [he sighs in frustration, clenching his hands around the blankets.]
I'm not saying this out of a sense of heroism, or to imply that I was willing to sacrifice myself for your sake. I could've easily gone on that shuttle with you; I stayed behind because it's my duty. Not yours. Not yet.
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But... she's tired. She knows he's mostly right, and that he knows better, and that he's older and wiser than she'll ever be. She's just so tired of this misery.
Her voice is very quiet as she responds, her head bowed again.]
Can we not fight? I don't want to fight. I'm sorry. I'll take it back if you want me to.
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...maybe he should've. maybe with all that face-cradling and first-name-calling he'd done, he'd crossed some kind of line from which it would be difficult to return. he'd made the first step and right now, it feels like it was a mistake.]
...don't take it back. Not if you meant it. [but fine. they don't have to 'fight.']
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Okay! Nevermind all of that. You look sick, do you have a fever? Do you need a drink, or something to eat? I can bring whatever you need!
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Rice porridge, I can do that! Just rest and have a drink until I bring it back, okay? And this water here is for your fever- you should put it on your forehead, it'll help you cool down.
[You know what she's just gonna go ahead and soak it for him. PREPARE TO BE NURSED]
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[she'll be taking that back now, stop being so proud.]
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I don't need you to-
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At least, that's the intent. He could always counter it with his own Quirk, but she's kinda hoping he's too tired for that.]
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...is this going to make you feel better? [he asks again, grumbling.]
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[there's even a bit of pep added to her tone the more she responds. once he's lying back down she re-soaks the cloth and lays it fresh on his forehead, because wow, sensei, you're heating that shit up real quick.]
Okay, don't move- just try to rest while I get the cooking done. If you feel overheated, change the cloth and have a drink of water. I'll be right back!
[she's off before he can even think about protesting. sucks to be Aizawa, he just got himself a full-time nurse. gonna steal a sleeping bag for his door and everything.]
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she's not supposed to be worrying about him, or looking after him or anything like that. even if it's just something he's allowing so she'll feel better, more useful, that's still not...
aizawa sighs, pulling the warming cloth off his forehead and dipping it in the bowl again to wring it out. back when he'd first arrived he'd told uraraka that despite the circumstances, nothing between them had changed, but that simply isn't true. it was a naive assumption to make, because back then he couldn't have comprehended being here so long, and getting so attached. not just to ochako, but to others in the fleet as well.
this isn't the same environment as a school. of course their relationship would reflect those differences.
when uraraka returns, she'll find him a little more compliant, though a lot less talkative as a result.]
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Sensei, still awake? Sorry it took so long.
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Don't worry about it. I'm going to be sleeping quite a bit for a while.
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[no sense in beating around the bush about it, he looks like garbage. but better this than no longer here at all.
she offers out the bowl of food, plopping herself down in his desk chair.]
Well, don't worry about anything while you sleep! We'll make sure everything's okay.
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