willynilly | IC Contact

[less worried and more preemptively heartbroken, because no one's actually guaranteed a return or even given her hope for it. she's been gutted, grieving. his text is at once startling and a source of hope and fear- it could be him, but what if it's not? text isn't going to cut it. as soon as she's past her shock enough to do anything, she's switching it over.]

Sensei!? Aizawa-sensei!!

[could it be true? is it really him?]

[oh my god, uraraka, why. now aizawa has to pull himself together and look presentable and not like he feels like shit.

he takes a few minutes to tie his hair back and laboriously arrange his pillows so he can sit up straight in bed. can't do anything about the fever sweat but she should be used to the sunken eyes by now, so he snaps a picture and sends it to her.]

My quarters. It's open

[she wants to scream and cry and run right to his room, to cling to him like never before, but as she lurches to her feet two things occur to her- one, even with his fussing he looks like shit in that photo, and two, he's doing her a kindness by telling her immediately and clinging won't make him feel better. it's enough- it has to be enough- just knowing he's alive again. somehow, they've been given a miracle.

so she doesn't rush, at least not too much. she makes a stop in the kitchen and the washroom first, frazzled and fretting, resisting the urge to just give in and go anyway. when she arrives a short while later, she knocks on his door to warn him of her arrival and lets herself in, carrying with her a little tray with a bowl and a glass of water, both iced, and a cloth. she herself is in her pajamas and looks exhausted and red-eyed, but at least she looks better off than him.

for all her waiting, just the sight of him alone in person is almost enough to get her crying again.]

...h-hi Sensei...

[aaahhhh geez.

aizawa does her the courtesy of just nodding when she enters, though he's taking in every detail he can as she walks over to deposit the tray on his nightstand. how considerate of her, especially when she looks like she hasn't been sleeping well. he suspected she didn't know about the arrivals, but her shock more or less confirms it.

maybe it had been cruel not to tell her of the possibility after all.

the unshed tears and tremble in her voice as she sits down beside his bed is evidence enough that she's holding herself back, probably for his sake, so he does her the courtesy of letting her fuss with the cloth and bowl before reaching out and reading a hand atop her head. so she can hide behind her hair, if she wants to.]

I'm sorry I'm late.

[She shudders at his touch, hesitating a moment before reaching up to take his hand gently, holding it between both of her own. She bows over it, her voice trembling with every breath.]

Y-you didn't... you didn't do anything wrong... I-I'm sorry for- for forcing you to make that promise... I should have just listened to you...!

Don't be ridiculous, [aizawa huffs sternly, though he allows his hand to rest between her own without fighting it. he was hoping she wouldn't go that way with it, but he should've expected it. uraraka has never blamed someone else for something she could take responsibility for.] Even as a full-fledged hero, you'll never have that much influence over another person's decisions. Unless you spontaneously developed a brainwashing quirk that I'm unaware of.

[she knows he means it- knows he believes it, certainly- but she can't help blaming herself. there's so much she could have done differently. responsibly.

still so much to learn.]

You still... only did it for my sake. So... I'm sorry, b-but... thank you, too.

Who says I only did it for your sake?

[She fidgets.]

You know what I mean...

[They would have just left when he told them to if she hadn't kept arguing.]

Humor me. [aizawa folds his hands on his lap, looking her square in the face even as the shadows flit about the corners of his eyes.] How was it only for your sake?

Edited (i promise last edit) 2017-10-13 04:36 (UTC)

[FIDGETS.]

I wouldn't go until you promised. How is it not?

I would have forced you if necessary. [Up to and including knocking her out and placing her on that transport.]

...It wasn't only for your sake. I hadn't been lying when I told you that the survivors would need you more than myself. And it's my responsibility, as your teacher, to ensure your safety. Even if I suspected I would be revived like this, the risk wasn't acceptable for you. [he sighs in frustration, clenching his hands around the blankets.]

I'm not saying this out of a sense of heroism, or to imply that I was willing to sacrifice myself for your sake. I could've easily gone on that shuttle with you; I stayed behind because it's my duty. Not yours. Not yet.

[She listens quietly, resistant at first, but not saying anything. There's plenty she could argue with that. No matter what Aizawa says, in her mind her duties are different here versus their world. This isn't school, this isn't home. She has certain responsibilities now, whether they like it or not- to the people they meet, to the crew, to him and all those she cares about.

But... she's tired. She knows he's mostly right, and that he knows better, and that he's older and wiser than she'll ever be. She's just so tired of this misery.

Her voice is very quiet as she responds, her head bowed again.]

Can we not fight? I don't want to fight. I'm sorry. I'll take it back if you want me to.

['can we not fight' isn't something a student really says to their teacher, and that's more telling than anything else. not just that she isn't taking his words at face value anymore, but that the degree of familiarity in fighting as opposed to lecturing isn't what he'd anticipated.

...maybe he should've. maybe with all that face-cradling and first-name-calling he'd done, he'd crossed some kind of line from which it would be difficult to return. he'd made the first step and right now, it feels like it was a mistake.]

...don't take it back. Not if you meant it. [but fine. they don't have to 'fight.']

[That's probably as close to a "yes" as she can expect, so she nods quietly, fingers twisting together in her lap. Okay. Okay, re-focus. He's back, he's alive, so now...]

[...Now, she lifts her head, expression shifting to one of cheery enthusiasm, clapping her hands once and leaning in.]

Okay! Nevermind all of that. You look sick, do you have a fever? Do you need a drink, or something to eat? I can bring whatever you need!

You've already brought me water. [honestly he kind of just wants to sleep, but he wants to make sure uraraka is properly reassured before he lies back down.] ...I should eat something, though. Rice porridge, if you don't mind. [giving her a task might help. he can compose himself while she's gone.]

[honestly she's even more relieved to have a job. some responsibility will do her wonders, and helping him will help her- well, maybe not atone, if he's going to fuss about her feeling guilty. but it would sure make her feel better about everything.]

Rice porridge, I can do that! Just rest and have a drink until I bring it back, okay? And this water here is for your fever- you should put it on your forehead, it'll help you cool down.

[You know what she's just gonna go ahead and soak it for him. PREPARE TO BE NURSED]

[wh y] I can do that. [takes that cloth to wring it out, hands shaking with strain]

...Uh-huh, I'm sure you can. Lie down please?

[she'll be taking that back now, stop being so proud.]

[WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THIS]

I don't need you to-

Yes, yes, I know, [is her only response as she rests the cloth against his forehead, using their close proximity to touch the pad of her thumb against his skin, activating her Quirk. Once he's weightless she tips him so his back is against the bed. Come on, legs down!

At least, that's the intent. He could always counter it with his own Quirk, but she's kinda hoping he's too tired for that.]

[mmmmmmmmrrrg. he could counter it, but that would be crossing a line. and besides that, he's damn tired and his eyes already hurt enough.]

...is this going to make you feel better? [he asks again, grumbling.]

Yes, sir.

[there's even a bit of pep added to her tone the more she responds. once he's lying back down she re-soaks the cloth and lays it fresh on his forehead, because wow, sensei, you're heating that shit up real quick.]

Okay, don't move- just try to rest while I get the cooking done. If you feel overheated, change the cloth and have a drink of water. I'll be right back!

[she's off before he can even think about protesting. sucks to be Aizawa, he just got himself a full-time nurse. gonna steal a sleeping bag for his door and everything.]

[.......shit. he really, really fucked up.

she's not supposed to be worrying about him, or looking after him or anything like that. even if it's just something he's allowing so she'll feel better, more useful, that's still not...

aizawa sighs, pulling the warming cloth off his forehead and dipping it in the bowl again to wring it out. back when he'd first arrived he'd told uraraka that despite the circumstances, nothing between them had changed, but that simply isn't true. it was a naive assumption to make, because back then he couldn't have comprehended being here so long, and getting so attached. not just to ochako, but to others in the fleet as well.

this isn't the same environment as a school. of course their relationship would reflect those differences.

when uraraka returns, she'll find him a little more compliant, though a lot less talkative as a result.]

IC Contact | Drift Fleet

video;

text + pic

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